On whose terms are you living your life?

Have you ever listed all of your competences? You should try it and rediscover yourself.

The last 8 months of my life have been quite an eye opener. They have been the hardest, most painful, but also the most giving. My mother passed away last November and even though we had known this would happen ever since she was diagnosed with ALS in 2010, it is the single most difficult event in my life. I felt and still feel half-orphaned.

So how can it possibly also be the most giving 8 months of my life?

Well, because of everything that has happened to me, because of all the emotions that I had to deal with and still am dealing with and all that it has taught me about me and how strong I am.

Because back in 2010 when my mother was diagnosed and my world fell apart, I realised that I only have THIS ONE LIFE, THIS ONE CHANCE to do what I want to.

My first decision was to be happy. And no, it is not as easy as it sounds, BUT if you find something positive in every (negative) thing/thought/opinion you encounter it gets easier over time and on days when I struggle to find anything positive… I fake it till I make it! It’s amazing what we can trick ourselves into feeling. We’re such good experts at making ourselves feel like crap most of the time, but we’re really crappy at making ourselves feel good. #FoodForThought

Having lost my mother, having to deal with a stressful job, taking care of my daughter (10) and my father (82)….

I hit the wall mid January.

I just couldn’t anymore. I had nothing left, absolutely nothing. I was an empty shell of myself, all the good intentions, all the dreams, hopes and plans for a better life were lost in the fogs of sorrow, stress and exhaustion.

I sent on sick leave by my doctor – with stress and fibromyalgia.

The first month I painted my staircase, the next two months I did nothing but watch Netflix… and take care of my daughter and my dad. I was in basic survival mode. (when I am stressed and I can’t take action to alleviate it I feel powerless (hate that!) – a frustration which just adds to my stress, and I release my stress hormones by doing manual labour, being creative… doing something with my hands/body; take the focus off the thoughts churning around inside my head).

Slowly my energy returned and I began to write again.

I even began writing on a new book and that’s given me such a boost of energy that I have picked up and dusted off my dreams for a better life – MY life.

And these last three weeks I have been attending a stress course and it has given me the last push I needed to resume the journey I have been on the last seven years: A journey to make MY LIFE MY CHOICE; a life that I can enjoy all aspects of.

On my stress course this Wednesday we were told to list our competences – also our CV, if we needed any special considerations in a work situation and our interests.

kompetencer

My CV is short – teacher + various jobs during college.

My special considerations …trust me not to follow an assignment, ‘cause I wrote down “positive” ideals, not actual considerations, but that’s how I swing: “Freedom”, “Flexibility”, the instructor forgot to write: “Self-determination”. I got one consideration though; I strongly dislike “Long Deadlines”.

My Interests: Writing, art, music, literature, ENJOYING LIFE (the instructor was just about to add “in my spare time”…but I stopped him and told him and the class that I want to enjoy ALL of my life, I want a ‘job’ that doesn’t feel like I am working but feels like I am living!), Family,  to travel/culture, to BREATHE.

My competences – and this is where I was and still am surprised, because who knew that I posses, that I am all this – I didn’t realise it until saw it written on the white board:

  • Smiling
  • Inspirational
  • Presentation/dissemination (teacher)
  • Translator
  • Communication/being clear in how and what I communicate
  • Being responsible about my subject knowledge.
  • Structure
  • Leadership
  • Authority
  • Being emphatic
  • An ability to “be” in and sometimes demand chaos
  • Keep the overview/see the bigger picture
  • Cooperation
  • Creative
  • Patience
  • Forthcoming (the instructors added this)
  • Proactive (instructors added this too)
  • Goal orientated (once again the instructors)
  • Passionate (and/or an idealist?)

When I saw all these competences on the white board and realised that’s part of who I am, my first thought was: “Why am I still teaching kids?” and the next thought was: “What’s holding me back from creating the life that I want?” …nothing! Nothing but the limitations that I have created in my mind.

First of all I am going to quit my job. …because returning to the workplace/work that gave me stress…- yeah, not going to happen! We have this saying in Danish “Gå aldrig tilbage til en fuser!”. Which means: ”Never go back to a dud!” 🙂 Yes, it was for an infomercial about not picking up un-exploded fireworks after New Year’s Eve, but it is still sound advice to use in all aspects of life.

Secondly I am resuming the journey I was on before I hit the wall, before life dragged me down, albeit an all together new “me”, but the goal is still the same: To create MY LIFE on MY TERMS.

Every change you want in your life begins with you!

What do you want most in life? And are you getting it? If not and you’re still hungry for it, then how will you get it? How can you change your life to get what you want in life?

I wish you all an excellent Saturday, may you find kindness and love along your path! ❤

 

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